Resonating message

Last week I was cleaning out my Google Reader like I generally do every couple of weeks. I subscribe to way too many blogs, and I can never keep up, but sometimes those I might have deleted bring a delightful message, so I am hesitant to cut too many out. None the less, I was reading through, when a post titled "We are Killing the Church" on Lives of Significance rang through to my heart. 

I fully believe that Jesus loves us. I truly believe that Jesus formed the church and loves the church. And I fully believe that we, the institutional church of North America, make Jesus want to puke.

I often think the same thing, especially as the institutions turn inward and forget the outward missions of Jesus. I think of this when I hear the considerable anger expressed during public discourse. And yes, I fall on the side that thinks this when I see other Christians failing to love their neighbors, irregardless of faith or non-faith, in the certainty that one group is so very right that all others are regulated to second class citizens.  I am convicted by the post, and yet my lack of certainty and humility leads me to know that I might not be right either.

I am currently reading The Faith Club, which has opened my eyes exponentially to the parallels of Islam, Judaism, and Christianity. A lot of my past doubts about my own faith have been shared, but I am once again reminded that even if I am not "right," Christianity helps me to lead a good life-- one of love and compassion.

Yes,  I am convicted, but I am ok with that too. 

Contest prizes

Someone once asked on twitter (sorry, I don't remember who) if people purchase their own contest prizes. For me, the answer is yes. I purchase all of the gifts I give away on this blog. I generally chose items that I have enjoyed and want to share with others.

I have been asked to review and promote products, but I turn down those opportunities and the prizes that go with them. When I started this blog, I needed a place to dump a piece of my mind-- the pieces that I didn't feel belonged on the family blog. I would define that point as the time in my life when I became a lactivist. I do not feel like I can maintain that freedom of expression and keep my Friday Feature neutral. I feel like I would be compromising my message.

This is not to say that others would be doing those things, but that is how I feel. And so... I will continue to buy the giveaways. I hope you don't mind. ;-)

Activism and Advocating (and a contest)

When I wrote about arrogance, I am sure that some would conclude that the only way for me to be humble would be to stop advocating for issues that are dear to my heart.  In the past few weeks, I have spent a considerable amount of time praying, thinking, replaying, thinking and praying about how to be a loving person while advocating for positions and causes in which I believe. Yes, I am going to continue, and yes, I think these issues are important-- to me and to others.

I know not everyone will be happy or like everything I say, but I also know that activism is working for change. Change is not easy, but if I simply sit and pray, who will be the feet? Who will do the work? Sometimes sitting and waiting is the answer, but sometimes we are called to be the hands and feet too. My hope and prayer is that I do it while loving those in disagreement.

And so... the contest.

Post on your blog (and leave a link) or Facebook or leave a comment describing how you balance humbleness with activism.  I will have The Boy draw a name from a hat a week from today. You can earn a bonus entry by tweeting the contest. The prize?  Your choice-- a $25 itunes gift card or a 27 ounce kleen kanteen bottle.

Next Friday, the Friday Feature will return! :)

Arrogance

Pastor Mike preached on the topic of arrogance a couple of Sundays ago, and it still has my mind reeling! Mike has been preaching a series called "A New Harmony: From Brokenness to Wholeness,"  his focus a couple of weeks ago was on how we divide ourselves-- as nations, races, socio-economically, power, arrogance, and sexes.  If you'd like to hear Mike's message, let me know. I didn't see it on our church website yet, but the sermons are recorded, so barring a technical malfunction, I can get you a copy. Two particular passages he discussed have stuck with me in the past two weeks:

He has abolished the law with its commandments and ordinances, so that he might create in himself one new humanity in place of the two, thus making peace, and might reconcile both groups to God in one body^* through the cross, thus putting to death that hostility through it. ¹⁶ Ephesians 2:15-16 (NRSV)

 and

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Let the same mind be in you that was^* in Christ Jesus,
who, though he was in the form of God,
   did not regard equality with God
   as something to be exploited,
but emptied himself,
   taking the form of a slave,
   being born in human likeness.
And being found in human form,
   he humbled himself
   and became obedient to the point of death—
   even death on a cross.  ⁴⁵⁶⁷⁸-- Philippians 2:3-8 (NRSV)

There were other verses, some which happen to be favorites of mine, but those two have really been on my mind and in my heart. Mike's message really got me thinking about how arrogant I can be or come off as being even when I am humble, because I am an incredibly confident person.  I make informed and decisive decisions, and at times, what works for me becomes my fact in life.

Truth be told, however, it is arrogant of me to believe I can do it all and fight every "good" fight without dividing people rather than unifying.  Furthermore, when I realize that I am weak, need help, and need to slow down, when I humble myself and realize that even God rested on the seventh day, I can love others better. I can live better. And I can grow in my relationship with God better. When I am arrogant about the pace of my life, I am building a wall between me and Him, and it is a lot easier to lose track of my priorities, to be arrogant, and to live a self-centered life.

Mike got me thinking about the many areas in my life where I am arrogant and could better be serving others, or in some cases where if I step back I see that Icome off as arrogant and intolerant when things are probably not as they seem. Certainly, I need to choose my words carefully and wisely. I know I am very opinionated and direct, especially in my writing. I need to try to be more empathetic and soften my words especially in disagreement. 

Truly, I think this is one reason (of many) I have struggled to blog lately. I know my position and want to continue to advocate for the position, but balancing my opinion with my acceptance of those I disagree with is no easy task!  Using loving words in disagreement is flat out HARD at times!

On a lighter note... I think it's time for a new contest! It's coming soon. :)

Friday Feature: The Freshaire Choice

We have been preparing our house for sale, and one item on the "to do" list was paint the ceiling in the living room, hall, and kitchen. Most people would say-- no big deal. I said "no big deal" and then realized after painting the hall that it was a VERY BIG deal. Oh my. Painting ceilings rates up there with snakes on things I do not enjoy. Fortunately, after a quick message on Facebook, I found out that a friend from Le Leche League paints and could do it in the timeframe we needed!

What does this have to do with my Friday Feature?

Last year, when I decided to paint The Boy's room, I went in search of a no-VOC paint that I could purchase in Tulsa. Not only did I want no-VOC in the can, but I wanted the color additive to be no-VOC too. This is no small feat, I assure you!

Larger cities and the East and West coasts tend to have more options, but there was one paint-- The Freshaire Choice-- available in Tulsa (sold at Home Depot).

After using this paint last year for The Boy's room, I am certain it will be our paint of choice for a LONG time. The coverage is good. It's no-VOC. It has virtually no odor at all actually. We moved The Boy back in to his room just hours after painting! Needless to say, we also used the paint for our living room, hallway, and on our ceiling.

The Freshaire Choice has 65 colors from which to choose! Happy Painting!

Bye bye shampoo...and deoderant

I have not been writing a lot about my green living lately, but a few weeks ago, my friend, Erin, asked me for some tips on reducing her chemical burden. It was just the spark I needed to get ramped up to write about some additional changes in my life. I hope to write on these topics in more detail very soon. Here's the Cliff's Notes version.

First, I have ditched the deodorant. I ditched antiperspirants a while back. In the summer, I was using Tom's, but I am committing myself to nothing at least until the ridiculous heat of Oklahoma returns, at which point, I will probably use a crystal again.

Second, I have slowly been reducing my use of shampoo. I would shower and massage my hair, but only use shampoo once a week. Well, yesterday a green blogger I love posted an article in which her blog was linked to from a local paper. I started today with baking soda and vinegar. I figure if it totally does not work for me, I can try the shampoo soaps listed in the article. In a few weeks, I should have an update!

I am a fan of baby steps in my changes, and these are just two more on the path.  Are you doing anything new an exciting?

Friday Feature: Quinoa

It is no secret that I have been steadily, in baby steps, been working to further refine and improve the diet of my family. We eat less meat, more raw foods, more vegetables and fruits, green smoothies, and fewer processed foods than ever. With a changing diet, we have also discovered new foods that we never thought of eating before-- foods we love! One such food is quinoa.

Quinoa is a grain-like plant, but not truly a grain. We consume the seeds, though in areas where it is grown, you can also eat the greens. Quinoa is nutrient dense and has a high protein level (I've read as high as 18%). The protein is a complete complex amino-acid and highly absorbable, so it is a great subsitute for meat in our diet.

Quinoa is easy to prepare, and I often time substatue it for rice or pasta in dishes. You can also purchase it as a pasta. It tastes quite mild with nutty undertones. The texture is fluffy with a slight bite from the germ.

More on quinoa--
Quinoa Corporation (makers of quinoa pasta, flakes, flour and quinoa distributor-- also has recipes)
Quinoa nutrition information and more
Whole Food Blog-- tons of information and recipes using quinoa
Quinoa and Black beans-- our latest discovery. I add butternut squash to it, and we all devour this tasty dish!

Cry-It-Out?

As more and more of my friends start adding to their families in the form of babies, I have become increasingly aware that I am not the norm-- in most all aspects of my life, but especially in parenting. In some cases, I might question their method or motivation, even though I am in no position to do so and certainly would never pressure the mom or dad. I have more tact and respect than that. However, when I hear of small babies being left to cry for a few nights or more (one as young as two months), I can't help but feel sad for the baby and try to understand the family's position.

My position on CIO is not easy to figure out. I parent through the night, and I have documented that parenting and why on this blog. There is scientific evidence that cry-it-out causes damage to babies, and while operant conditioning does work some babies, the reason for the crying has not been addressed. For some, this is of no matter. The end result is their desired result no matter how one gets there.

The Boy is almost three. He's stopped nursing, which has not changed his sleep pattern but has changed how he falls asleep. We still co-sleep, and yes, we still help him to fall asleep. So does his new school, and we're not alone.

Like many issues in life, I am torn between what I believe and respecting others in their decision making. Actually, as I am writing this, it reminds me a lot of my feelings on religious topics.

Dr. Sears on Sleep (including a LONG Q&A section)
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Sleeping

When weaning REALLY happens

I went to DC and back, and The Boy was still nursing, but towards the end it became uncomfortable. I would say the alphabet or sing two songs, switch sides if he wanted, and that was it. Then he started skipping a day or three, because he knew that mama had no milk and it hurt. When he asked to nurse again, we did, but now it's been over a week. He no longer asks to nurse at bed time. He no longer asks to nurse at nap time. He no longer asks to nurse any time.

Weaning happened.

I wish I could say I feel happy or sad, but in truth, I feel both. I am happy for his new independence. I am happy that he now asks to have someone rub his back and or snuggle at bed time. I am happy for the freedom this gives us both. At the same time, I am sad to see the nursing end. It was a part of us... a part we can never get back.

The Boy watches as our neighbor nurses her baby. He knows that's where the milk comes from, but he doesn't ask.

I will write more about what happened...how it happened, but for now all I can say is weaning happened.

Words as Magic

When I read Dr. Sears's The Discipline Book, I was forced to examine some of my expectations of when The Boy would develop certain levels of cognitive awareness and thinking. While I never expected him, at two, to know the difference between a lie and the truth, I was a bit shocked to find out that most children do not begin to develop this sense until around age seven. On page 234 of the book, Dr. Sears' writes:

Most children don't begin to understand truth and falsehood until the age of seven-- the age of reason.  By eight or nine most children have, or should have, a sense of morality. They feel wrong when they don't tell the truth and right when they do. They understand what "lying means and can feel "it's right to tell the truth."

Of course, it is not always as simple as the summary above. Dr. Sears wrote considerably more. 

The ability of a child to differentiate between truth and fantasy and untruth can be a positive and used in teaching moments. Dulche de leche linked to a great piece of writing this week on using words as magic. I am definitely going to be adding some of the techniques to my arsinal!  Check it out!