Friday, January 11, 2008

Daycare and Breastmilk

Here is my frustration of the day... and there have been a lot of frustrations lately, so picking this one to write about on here, says something.
To date, my daycare has been great. Sometimes I disagree with them, tell them that The Boy will have breastmilk and water only (and no crap food, no juice), and they follow my desires. They are continuing to do so, but today I found out some things that really left me dumbfounded, and once I left, I broke down and cried.
The Boy is ready to move up to the next room. They put him there one day, and I guess he threw his bottle, which he has never done before, and another kid picked it up and drank from it. I found this out THIRD hand from the teacher in his current room. I do not know why the teacher was not watching the kids enough to notice that another had picked up his bottle, but because of this, and a few more things that follow, they are holding him in his current room. He cries almost every day when I leave him, even though his favorite teacher in his current room gives him a lot of love and attention. He never used to cry like that when I left.
The school also asked their DHS rep about my continuing to give him breastmilk (The Boy turned 1 December 19th) and about my giving him breastmilk in his sippy cup. DHS told them there is nothing they can do about it. No big deal. Good for them for asking before acting.
The teacher in the young infant room actually threw a fit when the teacher from my baby's room went in there to use their bottle warmer, after another teacher in my son's room was scolded for microwaving my baby's bottle. No kidding... how petty. Anyway, they send home my baby's teacher and tell her to buy a crock for our room and make a big deal about it.
Now today I find out that they will not move him up to the next room because they don't want breastmilk in that room. Yes, they are descriminating against him, because I am choosing the MOST NATURAL milk for him. Nevermind that international health organizations recommend breastfeeding until two! Even if The Boy were to get other fluids during daycare, he will not be weaned until he is ready. I don't care how many times his daycare tells me that he should be on formula or cow's milk! Anyway... Other kids in the next room take bottles, but because his is breastmilk and not formula, they won't move him up.
They care for my son quite well, and he is very loved and gets a lot of attention at his current place, but I cannot wait to get him out of there! I know that the place takes a lot of public assistance kids who are getting formula from WIC (WIC would also give them a pump, but that's another long frustrating rant), but still.
Just because it is right for those families (including the director's daughter), does not mean that it is right for me and my family, and they need to stop forcing their preconcieved notions on me. They also need to stop giving me, The Boy, and the teachers a hard time for doing what is best for The Boy. Grr...
Oh, and I can't just pick up and go right now, because there is a severe daycare shortage in Tulsa. Most places have waiting lists that are months long. I am currently on the waiting list at another first choice when we were picking a place, but they say it might be summer or worst case, fall, before I can send him there. I am calling in all favors and pulling strings trying to get him in there sooner, but as of right now, we wait.
Also, when Kevin gets home from playing basketball overseas, there is a possibility for the summer at least, that he would be a stay-at-home dad. I just wish it could get here more quickly!!!
I am throwing around some ideas to make things smoother at this daycare for The Boy until he can get out of there, but for now, he is being held back and descriminated against. He is great with table food-- loves to eat table food--especially fruits, vegetables, beans and eggs. I give him dairy in other forms-- yogurt and cheese mostly. I might try reverse cycling, with nothing but water for fluids during the day, but I am tired of making concessions for someone I pay to care for The Boy. Grr...


KaritaG said...

Not to sound like a lawyer and former daycare worker, which is hard for me to do, seeing how that's what I am, but is there legal action you can take over this? That whole scenario just sounds ridiculous. It's a DAYCARE that takes care of BABIES and they don't want breastmilk in certain rooms? WTF?! It sounds like they don't want to take the time to watch which kid is drinking from which bottle, which might bother me more. That IS their job. Hell we had a woman who nursed her FOUR YEAR OLD son, in front of other kids, when she picked him up at my daycare, and while there were definitely some "looks" exchanged amongst the teachers, we would have never done something like what you are describing. I'm sorry you are dealing with this!

Damselfly said...

Wow, that sounds tough. You wouldn't think people who care for children for a living would be so uptight over breastmilk.

Bek said...

I used to work in a daycare in the room for 12-18 months old ones right when I came here. They got something to drink during the meals only, where they were all seated at the table and on extremely hot summerdays some water inbetween. You had to be off bottles. Some kids were allergic to milk and had to bring their own soya-milk - no problem with making sure that the drinks didn't get mixed up. I am not sure how they would handle breastfeeding at that age. If it's just one child, it should be possible to find the chance to heat it up. If it's the majority of the room, I don't see how that's going to happen since they were eating all at the same time.
I hope you find a solution that works for you and The Boy.

Maria said...

Bek-- others in the room are also taking at least one bottle a day-- usually at nap time. The center's hold-up is that The Boy takes breast milk instead of cows milk or formula in his cup/bottle.

Melissa said...

Oh my God, Maria, that is horrifying! I hope you can find a spot soon in a daycare that is more supportive of what's best for your son.

Courtney said...

wow..that is ridiculous. they just moved creighton up to the next room also (as of january) and told me no more bottles, but i told them that they can leave her or give her a bottle in the new room...i guess they wanted to move her, so they are giving her a bottle. she will not take it from a sippy...she is spoiled...oh well. i am sorry that your daycare is being so silly. that is absolutely crazy!!!

traveller one said...

HI Maria... you have an interesting blog and I am completely on your side regarding breastfeeding. I nursed mine til they were almost two and there is nothing better for your baby.

Does the daycare HAVE TO know that he is getting breastmilk in his bottle or cup?? Is it their business? Why not stop calling it "breastmilk" and just call it "milk"? It might help.

Thanks for dropping by my blog :)

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