Monday, July 20, 2009

When Weaning Happens?

As many of you know from reading this blog, I am in no hurry to wean. Was in no hurry to wean? Ack. I am up and down right now. Let me start from the middle. Ha ha. Much of this post is over-simplified, but I am still sorting through all of the emotions associated with this process.

When the opportunity came up for me to take an assignment in Washington D.C., I carefully weighed, among other things, what that would mean to The Boy and nursing. While there were times in the past that I had wondered if the day would ever come, or wished it would end (pre-period and during the first few days, my breasts are sensitive!), I also cherished each opportunity to nurse The Boy. Those opportunities were coming further and further apart, however, and I could feel our nursing relationship changing. Combining his increasing independence and lack of a reliance on nursing to do things that only nursing could do for him with his attachment to Kevin, and the opportunity seemed to come at a time where I could leave for a while and feel good about The Boy’s maturity in handling what was happening.

From the time I had found out that I had been selected for D.C. until my departure, the longest separation to date for me and The Boy, we spoke at the two and a half year old level about not nursing any more. Like the “other” times we had spoken about nursing, and he had told me (or I had an absence coming) he was going to stop, I suspected the day would come and go without much difference—he would ask to nurse. Most times when I must travel, we speak on the phone and he tells me that when I get home, he wants to nurse. Twelve days or so in to D.C. and not one mention. Not a single one.

He will be here in early August, almost a month since our last nursing session, and if he asks to nurse, I will allow it, but there will be no milk. That I am fairly certain of. I have felt no physical discomfort, but my emotions? They are all over the place. I will try to sort through them all and formulate some more coherent posts on “When Weaning Happens.”


Bethany said...

I understand your feelings. I made the decision to stop nursing about 2 months ago. I still have days when I wonder if I did the right thing, but I know he is fine without it.

Jessica said...

My son weaned himself at 14 months! I was shocked and sooo sad. He had just gotten to the developmental phase of being able to ask to nurse and it was such a relief to be able to communicate with him two ways... but alas, I would offer him my breast and he would refuse it. Hence, our breastfeeding relationship ended and he's never looked back.

I mourned the loss, surprisingly, for a couple of weeks. It was such a strange thing to see my breasts as just boobs again, instead of tools of life (ha!).

Good luck with your reunion with your little guy :)

Rebecca said...

As you know, I feel your pain.

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