Saturday, August 1, 2009

I'm still making milk?

Today is the start of World Breastfeeding Week. As such-- a week's worth of posts centered around breastfeeding...or in today's case when breastfeeding and weaning collide!

I have not nursed since 7 July, and last night when I thought-- hey, I should try to hand express just a bit to see if I still have milk. I was taken aback when I had a nice stream after just a couple of compressions. I am not sure how much milk is actually available. I am not sure what to think.

Ten days ago or so, I predicted that there would be no milk if he asks next week. Knowing there is milk does not change the fact that I will allow him to nurse if he asks, but it does change how I feel. After I got over the shock, I was happy. I am happy. Happy to know that I could still nurse The Boy if he wants. When we spoke this morning, for the first time since I have been gone, he told me that when he comes to Washington he is going to drink my milk.  I think my heart melted a little. Could it be that we will still be nursing after this separation? The thought puts a twinkle back in my eye and warms my heart.

What if he does not ask? I have not asked him other than in rare instances since he was about fifteen months old and will not start back now. I know I will be sad if he does not ask, but I will not dwell on it. He is a healthy, energetic, compassionate little boy, and I know he loves his mama's milk.

This breastfeeding and weaning thing is a lot harder than I thought it would be -- from every angle.

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